So, you’re young—probably under 20—feeling like you have no sense of direction.
I’ve been there.
First of all—this is a disclaimer—stop looking for quick fixes. Now. There is no one-step, quick-fix solution for this problem. It’s a process, and it can be a fun one. Discovering yourself is fun! Who said you need to struggle?
I used to be there. I’m still young, and my days feeling directionless and stuck are far from over, but they are much more infrequent. Moreover, through this process (which I’m about to lay out to you) I frequently experience feelings of personal bliss, joy, and I have positive visions for the future.
The Three Pillars of Directionlessness
1. Mental Health
This one must come first. If you’re feeling directionless, hopeless, or stuck, it could be because of your mental health. Now, this is not bad news, as there is always help, and always a cure. In fact, if what you’re struggling with is mild (or even severe in some cases) the issue is really pain-free to resolve- and it can actually bring massive amounts of joy.
If you’re struggling with mental health, it is likely corrupting most other areas of your life- relationships, habits, etc. So, in order to develop these, we must improve our mental health. If your issue is mild, I have a few quick daily exercises that will likely get you out in a few weeks.
- Gratitude Journaling. Write 1-3 things each day that you’re grateful for. You’ll be surprised on how effective this is.
- Meditation. There’s no mental issue that mindfulness cannot resolve. Becoming increasingly aware of yourself, you will effortlessly get better.
- Exercise & Diet. If these are out of wack, so will your life be. You must be eating enough healthy foods, not too much, not too little, because this will keep your hormones regular, and you must be eating relatively healthy. Food has a massive impact on every aspect of your life, so eat quality. You should also be exercising, even if it’s a 20 minute walk each day. When I started weightlifting a few years ago, my life started to feel real and like it had direction. It gave me a sense of purpose and it also just made me feel better. Bigger, stronger, and more relaxed.
- Thought patterns. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. If your thinking is bad, your life will fall apart. Do everything in your power to break bad thought cycles, to improve your positive thinking, to become optimistic and self-confident. I recommend reading The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson and As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. These books will teach you what you need to know.
Now, if your mental health is worse, I have a few recommendations for you, and I am not able to help as well as these. I recommend the course “The Science of Well-being” taught by a Yale professor on coursera. Link here. (This is seriously one of the most beneficial things you can do to improve your mental health, if you desire to get better) If it is even worse, if you are unable to pull yourself up, please talk to a professional.
2. Lack of Purpose
The second reason could be that you lack purpose. You don’t know what your long-term vision is, you don’t know what you love to do the most, you don’t know your one thing. Well, in your case, you have some work to do, and you’ll be stuck forever if you don’t do the work. Life purpose takes weeks, months, possibly years (to develop into a massive vision, but you can find it in a month or a few) and you’re going to need to invest in it. Here is my action plan for you, a few books to read and actions to take.
- Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. This book will be the foundation of all your understanding of this topic.
- The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. Use this Book to find your purpose and crush your limiting beliefs.
- The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. use this book to deepen your purpose and understand the process in which you must execute it.
- Mastery by George Leonard- Learn what it will take to Master your purpose
- The One Thing by Gary Keller. Learn how to make your purpose a success.
- BONUS: Purple Cow by Seth Godin- Learn how to market and expand your purpose.
- Do the work. Keep going, even if you lose passion some days, push through, be ruthless, be logical and strategic. You’re at war with yourself. Make the right part of you win.
These are 6 books which each range from $10-15 on amazon. Thats $60-90 total. Make the investment in yourself; it’s small and it’s worth it. I also recommend you take notes with a pen in your books. Underline, fold page corners, write in your books, etc. It will help you learn and it’s fun.
I promise you, if you follow all these steps, you will have found—and will be acting out your purpose—within the first two-to-three months of reading this. The catch: you have to show up every day, and once you find your purpose, you must act on it in that instant, and act on it daily for the rest of your life. Sounds scary? It is. War is scary, and that’s what acting out your purpose is. It’s a war of art.
If you aren’t a reader, you won’t learn. You won’t discover your purpose. Suck it up and make yourself love reading. (I used to hate reading, now I read multiple books a month. It’s possible, so do it.)
3. Lack of Experience
I am writing this one last because it is the least common and easiest to deal with. If you think you lack experience, you probably don’t. Don’t listen to those guys that say “oh, do whatever you want in your 20’s and take your time finding yourself'” No. Don’t waste your time. You’re here now, so find yourself ASAP. Don’t rush it, but don’t dilly-dally along. that’s how you form regrets.
You’ve read things. You’ve watched videos. You eat certain foods. What are your preferences? What do you like the most? What puts you in a flow state? These questions aren’t questions of what pleasures you like to indulge in (fix those bad habits, for your own sake), but what you genuinely like to do. These are hints towards yourself. Hints toward your purpose, your art, your calling, your service to the world, to life.
Now, if you’re very young or you genuinely have had such an actionless life that you have completely no clue what you enjoy, my answer to you is simple.
Go do shit.
Yeah, I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it’s true. You can start with whatever interests you on the internet. Pick five things you like the most, then go do them in real life. Then out of those five, narrow it down to just a few, then combine those into one thing. Thats your purpose.
Your purpose is fluid, over time it will self-refine, change, but there is one truth- it will always be related to the same things. Find those aspects of what you enjoy that never change. That is your purpose at the deepest level.
Again, the catch here is that you have to do the work. You can’t get around this. I’m telling you right now, this is the secret, this is the thing that you must accept. It’s been in front of you your entire life. Do the work, even when you don’t feel like it, because to live a good life is to live a life of grit, of action, of passion, of discipline, of peace. Apply these principles. Every day, do some of the work. The next week, do some more of the work, and so on. You will never find it if you never pursue it. Commit yourself, every day, to doing what is necessary to find and act on your purpose. All the information is here for you, none is left out. Quit trying to overcomplicate it. Follow these steps and I guarantee—if you just commit to the work—your life will change drastically.
Do you want it or not?
If you liked reading this and found it valuable, share it with a friend who could use it. Thank you for reading.
Mason
Great tips, not just for the young ‘uns, but also for everybody in general. I appreciate you taking the time to craft this post, and yes, exercise and a good diet alone will help with most of our downer moods. Thanks for this post!
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Thank you so much for commenting. You’re the first one on this site! I’m glad you enjoyed, there’s much more to come. 🙂
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Oh wow, I’m honoured to be your first commenter 🙂 Wishing you all the best with your blogging journey!
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Thank you 🙂
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